rained @Wednesday, 6 May 2015
Have you ever felt like your world is crushing? Suffocated by your own breath? The pain tightens your chest? Yeah? Ditto.
I love. I hurt. I guess that's the irony of love ey? When we love a little too much, it hurts. When we love a little less, it hurts too. Fair enough?
One thing in mind, "I wanna be happy too". That's what I felt. I wanna love. And I guess I love a little too much. And it's hurting me too. It's crushing me too. Really, I wanna be happy too. Can't I?
Is it too much to ask for? Or... is it beyond possible? Or... it'll come late? Or... NEVER?
Boy...
I love you that much, y'know. And I fall hard. I hope you'll always be the person who catches me. Not just to support me, BUT be in the battle with me, by my side. Always. Me, only me, be the girl in your life. Your world. Your everything. And you're hurt whenever you hurt me nor see my tears fall. It's like you're losing the half part of yourself. Please just let me be the only one. Can it be?
I love. I hurt. I guess that's the irony of love ey? When we love a little too much, it hurts. When we love a little less, it hurts too. Fair enough?
One thing in mind, "I wanna be happy too". That's what I felt. I wanna love. And I guess I love a little too much. And it's hurting me too. It's crushing me too. Really, I wanna be happy too. Can't I?
Is it too much to ask for? Or... is it beyond possible? Or... it'll come late? Or... NEVER?
Boy...
I love you that much, y'know. And I fall hard. I hope you'll always be the person who catches me. Not just to support me, BUT be in the battle with me, by my side. Always. Me, only me, be the girl in your life. Your world. Your everything. And you're hurt whenever you hurt me nor see my tears fall. It's like you're losing the half part of yourself. Please just let me be the only one. Can it be?
rained @Saturday, 15 November 2014
Honestly, there are times I just wanna screamed "I hate you" right to your face because of the endless pain you put me through. There are times I just wanna give up because I can't do this anymore. It should be the both of us againts the world. Not me, myself. There are times I just wanna run away or die because you never appreciate me. Maybe by that, you will learn what you have lost. Maybe by that, you will open your eyes and start to appreciate and stop hurting me. I'm already in a numb-broken state, but still, you never try to put those things away from me. You never try on healing me. Instead, you keep on wounding it.
Can't you see all the things I have done and sacrificed for you? Can't you see that I love you? Can't you see that you're my priority? Just why? Am I not good enough? Am I not perfect enough? Am I not this kind of gf of the year type or the okay-with-it girlfriend? That is why you're doing this to me? That is why you're punishing me like this? By shattering me to pieces? Or it is just to entertain you? To make it fun for you. You never get it, do you?
Most of the time, yes, I'm exhausted already bey. Exhausted of getting hurt. Every. Single. Time. I wanna be happy too. I really am. I still wanna live and make my parents dreams come true and even making them proud. And I want you to be there with me as well. Not by making my heart's condition even worse. I still wanna travel the world and do stuffs that I love the most. Please, just STOP. Just freaking STOP. Words that I always said to you, aye? But still, it will never stop right? It's okay. It's really okay. God is always there. Watching.
People will never understand. Nobody will. And what hurt the most, even the person you love will never understand you. Or even TRY to understand. They will get mad when you don't share or tell them what's wrong BUT when you did, they will never understand or make things right. Useless. Isn't it? So why bother asking when you don't wanna make a slight changes? Why wanna give a high hope on someone when you'll just gonna crush it anyway? People will never know what or how pain could do on someone. Especially to those who keep it to themselves. She's your girl, so you should understand and know her well enough than anyone else's does. She's your girl, so man up and don't be a coward to do some changes. She's your girl, appreciate her before someone else does. We're getting old, not getting young year by year. But I guess it is true when they said maturity doesn't come with age but it comes with experiences. So I guess I've been in a lot of experience in life and even watches it. So I learnt from it. But some just never learn. Well, there are times we could be playful but there are also times where we should be serious. Take note on that. Not everyone could follow your way, but you yourself gotta learn on following others' way too. In a relationship ofcourse, it should be give and take. Don't be that douchebag whom keep on taking. Because dear, karma is always there. There will be no use of crying over a spilled milk. Or "nasi sudah jadi bubur". Open your eyes, and learn. Life is a good teacher yknow. It teaches you all the great things that will never be taught in schools or textbooks.
rained @Saturday, 1 November 2014
Hello November perhaps?
And it did not start off good or like how I wish for it to start.
That's okay. I guess I'm used to it though. Tears. Heart ache.
I can survive it, I guess. Haha. Yakin :)
A x
